My friends, my readers, I have wanted to tell you this story for weeks now!!! One would think, after the year we have been through, with jobs, houses, depression, etc., that we/I would get a break somewhere. Well, we did! So we thought, anyhow.
If you kept up with, or started reading from the beginning of our story, you would know that it was not an easy task to get pregnant with Jake. I had to take medicine because we could not conceive on our own, due to my ovary issues. I have heard stories over and over of how having a baby could fix infertility problems. Derick and I had decided that we really wanted to have at least our first two kids fairly close together. So, we started trying to get pregnant in around October/November. We were pretty diligent in tracking things and it just wasn't happening. In December I was like, you know, it's not happening and I'm just tired of peeing on the ovulation sticks and tracking things. So, we stopped "trying". I didn't track anything that month. Well, mid-January I still hadn't gotten my "monthly". I was at my best friend's house and we were talking about how my cycle was going on like 38 days. I just blew it off as my weird cycles coming back. I was actually going to call the office the next Monday, and get things going to start Clomid again. Well, I knew I needed to take a pregnancy test before I went in to talk about Clomid. I'd sure look like an idiot if I happened to be pregnant. Tana had a test at her house so I took it. I was not at all expecting to see anything good, so I really wasn't looking forward to looking at it. Tana got up to look at it, so I jumped up to look too. We saw it at the same time and it said very clearly... PREGNANT. I COULD NOT believe my eyes!! My body can make babies on its own!!!! I was actually right around 5 weeks 3 days, when I found out. A huge change from the 3 weeks 5 days with Jake. I was excited because I wasn't going to have to wait as long to go to the doctor, either!
I made my appointment for the day of 7 weeks. In the mean time, I had ZERO pregnancy symptoms other than peeing a lot more than usual. No sore boobs, no nausea, nothing. I googled and googled because I was certain it meant something bad. There were mixed reviews, so I remained optimistic. I also asked Dr. Optimistic if it meant anything and he was quick to say that pregnancy doesn't have to be a miserable thing.
I went in at 7 weeks, terrified of not seeing a heart beat on the sonogram. Same thing as always... naked from the waste down, feet in stirrups, bottom to the end of the table, ultrasound time. On the screen was a tiny little sac. There was no baby, there was no heart beat. Just what I feared. It was measuring what a 5 week pregnancy would measure. This was not great news according the doctor. I was sent home to come back in a week to see how things looked.
The week that followed, I had basically prepared myself for a miscarriage. I was no longer pregnant, in my mind. I hated to feel that way, should the pregnancy continue. But I felt like, for my emotional status, I needed to detach myself from this pregnancy and let go.
I started bleeding on Monday evening. My appointment was Wednesday. My sweet friend, Kristi, went with me to keep an eye on Jake, and quite frankly, to keep me company because I was prepared for bad news--a confirmed miscarriage. Got in the office, bottoms off, feet up in stirrups, bottom to the end of the table, ultrasound time. What was there, you ask? A 6 week embryo... with a heart beat! But I was still bleeding. So, miscarriage was still a likely possibility. It is referred to as a threatened miscarriage. I was sent home again, to come back in another week. I thought to myself that this was going to get really old if I had to continue to come back week after week. Dr. Optimistic said he thought things were looking better and that a heart beat was a really positive thing. I left not knowing how to feel. I continued to bleed, not bad, but still bleeding, nonetheless.
The next morning I had bible study. I went and everything was relatively ok. Bleeding was light, but then about 10am I started cramping pretty good. By the time I got home at noon, it was pretty bad. Like it felt like a constant contraction. Not the braxton hicks kind... like the kind after your water breaks. But constant. It didn't let up. I went to bathroom shortly after we got home and passed a clot and started bleeding pretty good. I called my friend, Kristi, who was very quick to come and help take care of Jake while I... bled and cramped.
Dr. Optimistic had told me that if my bleeding got worse, or if I wanted to, to come in on Friday instead of waiting a week. So, I made my appointment for Friday morning. I passed 2 more clots, the last one being last night. My appointment was today. This morning and my mom went with me. I went in expecting nothing. I had no idea what to expect after thinking I was miscarrying, then seeing and hearing a heart beat, then bleeding and cramping for 2 days. So, as always... bottoms off, feet in stirrups, bottom to the end of the table, ultrasound. What was there, you ask? An empty uterus with a thicker than normal lining. I had passed all products of conception in the time between Tuesday and Friday.
I am definitely at peace with the whole thing by now. I was very upset upon the initial examination at 7 weeks. I worked it out, and am at peace. There was a reason that little baby did not make it.
One good thing out of the whole event... I can make babies!!!!
So, I'll definitely take any and all prayers still, even though the whole thing is over. I would expect some emotions to crop up occasionally. But, having Jake definitely, definitely makes things a ton easier on the emotions. For one, he keeps me occupied. And for two, I already have a munchkin, so I wasn't nearly as desperate this time as I was the first time. I'm pretty sure I would need to have been institutionalized had this happened the first time!!!
Anyway, this explains my absence from the world of blogging in the past week, or so. I really wanted to blog about it, because I feel like it is often times viewed as such a shameful thing. It is not!! It is so much more common than one might think!! Did you know 15% of pregnancy result in miscarriage? That's 1 out of every 5-6 pregnancies. That's huge! So, if you are lucky enough to never have had one... count yourself very, very blessed!!
Happy weekend, my friends.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
An absolute train wreck
This post is dedicated to one of mine and Derick's very regrettably, all time favorite shows... Toddlers & Tiaras. Yes, you read that right. We love that show. We, let me rephrase that... Derick (who convinced me) is so completely against the idea of pageants, yet we still tune in weekly to watch that train wreck of a show! Why do we watch, you ask? Honestly, we watch to make fun of and mock the parents, mostly. If you have not seen the show, let me explain to you what happens.
Basically, they start off by showing 2 or 3 different girls, all entered in the same pageant. Usually, these girls have 3 completely different up-bringings. Whether it be only child, only girl after 3 boys, 1 of many pageant girls, etc. Some are so wealthy they take private jets to the pageant, and some are completely white-trashed out families that will spend thousands (this is no exaggeration) and thousands of dollars on one single pageant where the grand prize (taken home by the prestigious ultimate grand supreme) is usually a couple hundred to maybe a thousand bucks. These girls usually have one thing in common-- a most insane attitude and downright disrespectfulness towards their parents, and usually mostly their mothers. Also, their mothers, and sometimes fathers, are usually extremely...extremely kooky! I have seen these girls slap their mothers, spit at them, yell nasty things at them, order them around. And what do the mothers do? Drop everything and respond to their every beck and call because they are more interested in that grand prize than the child is, in most cases. They fill these toddlers (who desperately need a nap) with coffee, soda, sugary foods, all in order to keep them in a good mood and not get tired. They send them up on stage in their crazy get-ups to do the cheesiest "talent" routines, beauty, sometimes swimwear, or "wow" wear. We have watched episode where these tiny little girls are practically dressed like strippers.
And then let's talk about the absolutely ridiculous lengths these people will go to in order to make their little toddler look like a... let's face it... a whore. Derick swears these children are being trained to be strippers or exotic dancers. And why wouldn't they?! They are paraded around after they have been spray tanned, buy flippers (a set of fitted extremely white, extremely perfect fake teeth worn to cover up those cute little snaggle teeth) fake hair--which is usually done by a hair stylist on location $$, fake nails $$, fake eyelashes $$, makeup so thick you could scoop it off--which is usually applied by a professional makeup artist $$. Even the pictures that they use to enter "Most photogenic" portions of the pageant are so ridiculously fake! Let me just show you a couple.
I will be the first one to agree that photo enhancements are a good thing... but not to the point where it looks like a completely different person!! People, this is not enhancement this is like graphic art illustration!!
This doesn't even begin to cover how absolutely retarded the vain world of child pageantry is these days. If I could sum it up in one word... repulsive. Yet, we still come back to the show week after week.
I'll tell you what the majority of these kids and parents need... a real good whoopin!
So, thank you, TLC, for the train wreck of a show you provide your viewers. But really, I feel incredibly sorry for these little girls who will grow up to find, one day, that the plastic trophies and crowns (because no one walks away empty handed) they received were all purchased by their parents who were duped into thinking this was a way to judge the true beauty of their child.
Basically, they start off by showing 2 or 3 different girls, all entered in the same pageant. Usually, these girls have 3 completely different up-bringings. Whether it be only child, only girl after 3 boys, 1 of many pageant girls, etc. Some are so wealthy they take private jets to the pageant, and some are completely white-trashed out families that will spend thousands (this is no exaggeration) and thousands of dollars on one single pageant where the grand prize (taken home by the prestigious ultimate grand supreme) is usually a couple hundred to maybe a thousand bucks. These girls usually have one thing in common-- a most insane attitude and downright disrespectfulness towards their parents, and usually mostly their mothers. Also, their mothers, and sometimes fathers, are usually extremely...extremely kooky! I have seen these girls slap their mothers, spit at them, yell nasty things at them, order them around. And what do the mothers do? Drop everything and respond to their every beck and call because they are more interested in that grand prize than the child is, in most cases. They fill these toddlers (who desperately need a nap) with coffee, soda, sugary foods, all in order to keep them in a good mood and not get tired. They send them up on stage in their crazy get-ups to do the cheesiest "talent" routines, beauty, sometimes swimwear, or "wow" wear. We have watched episode where these tiny little girls are practically dressed like strippers.
And then let's talk about the absolutely ridiculous lengths these people will go to in order to make their little toddler look like a... let's face it... a whore. Derick swears these children are being trained to be strippers or exotic dancers. And why wouldn't they?! They are paraded around after they have been spray tanned, buy flippers (a set of fitted extremely white, extremely perfect fake teeth worn to cover up those cute little snaggle teeth) fake hair--which is usually done by a hair stylist on location $$, fake nails $$, fake eyelashes $$, makeup so thick you could scoop it off--which is usually applied by a professional makeup artist $$. Even the pictures that they use to enter "Most photogenic" portions of the pageant are so ridiculously fake! Let me just show you a couple.
I will be the first one to agree that photo enhancements are a good thing... but not to the point where it looks like a completely different person!! People, this is not enhancement this is like graphic art illustration!!
This doesn't even begin to cover how absolutely retarded the vain world of child pageantry is these days. If I could sum it up in one word... repulsive. Yet, we still come back to the show week after week.
I'll tell you what the majority of these kids and parents need... a real good whoopin!
So, thank you, TLC, for the train wreck of a show you provide your viewers. But really, I feel incredibly sorry for these little girls who will grow up to find, one day, that the plastic trophies and crowns (because no one walks away empty handed) they received were all purchased by their parents who were duped into thinking this was a way to judge the true beauty of their child.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
busy crafting
Guys! I'm up to my eyeballs in first birthday crafting!! Tana and I are hard at work on all the sock monkey decorations. I have to say, it is incredibly cheap to craft your own birthday party decorations! It is so easy. But it is very time consuming!! And I know... the kid will never remember this day. But it's man, if I wanna go all out... mama's gonna go all out!! I can hardly contain the excitement I have for this day!
It's actually gonna be two days. We decided on a friends party and a family party. That way he's not so incredibly overwhelmed with tons of people all at one time. I'm not sure if he'll be completely weirded out by all the people in our house, or just whatever about it. I do know one thing, once he gets used to all the people being there, he will steal the show. It's a good thing the day is about him, because if it weren't, I am certain he would make it that way.
Anyway, that's literally about ALL that's going on in our little casa de Pickles.
I just ordered some new cloth diapers today and I can't WAIT to get them in the mail!!
It's actually gonna be two days. We decided on a friends party and a family party. That way he's not so incredibly overwhelmed with tons of people all at one time. I'm not sure if he'll be completely weirded out by all the people in our house, or just whatever about it. I do know one thing, once he gets used to all the people being there, he will steal the show. It's a good thing the day is about him, because if it weren't, I am certain he would make it that way.
Anyway, that's literally about ALL that's going on in our little casa de Pickles.
I just ordered some new cloth diapers today and I can't WAIT to get them in the mail!!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
My other job.
Ok, so I started my new job (that Dr. Optimistic had a HUGE hand in helping me land) last month. Pretty awesome place, not gonna lie. I went in already having heard that it was a really great place to work. But after having been through what I had to go through at my previous place of employment... we won't go there, but let's just say, I might have been a smidge skeptical since the new job is actually the sister hospital of where I used to work. It did make the transition nice, though. It was like transferring, sort of. Since I wasn't gone for 6 months (it was like 5 months and 29 days lol), I didn't have to do the big, long orientation. But I am having to learn a few other things that changed since I was gone. One of them is a pretty big change... computer charting... but it's definitely a welcomed change. That's right... we were charting on paper until I left in June!
It has been wonderful to be back in the world of L&D. Momma's birthing babies... ya'll, I'm just saying... it's such an awesome thing to able to help people with. I didn't realize how much I missed it!
Right now, I'm working 1-2 days a week (it's called ECB) and loving it. The people that I work with are amazing. I think I've said it before, but this place is like a utopia compared to my former unit. Seriously.
When people ask if I like the difference... Because where I am now, it is much less intense, not high risk, they do probably a third or fourth of the deliveries that the main campus does (maybe even less than that). It's a lot slower paced, a lot more relaxed environment, etc. It's a verrrrry welcomed change. Here's what I tell people: when L&D was my life (before being a mom) it was awesome, I lived it, breathed it... I worked tons of overtime. The adrenaline rush in all the crazy, wild, hectic emergencies was so awesome. And I am so thankful for my time there! I learned an incredible amount of skills by being in a high risk facility like that! But now that it's not my life... now that I've grown up, in a sense, my new place of employment is a spot on fit for me. I get to go to work, labor someone, help them with their relatively uncomplicated pregnancy and then go home to my family without worrying. I'm also not insanely worn out from running my butt off all day, either. Man, they work HARD at the main hospital. No joke. Maybe even overwork. No, I know... sometimes it's inevitable. But my favorite part-- the management is the complete opposite from what I am used to. They are wonderful! Everyone is so down to earth and helpful.
Oh, and one more thing! The place is much smaller, so the walk to and from the car doesn't take 5 minutes both ways!! Hey, doesn't sound like much, but trust me... that 5+ minute walk, depending on where you parked because there's always construction, was a pain in my butt. And it's closer to my house! Woohoo! Wait, there's another! At my old job, we did everything in the room during delivery by ourselves. We took care of the mom, the baby, got the doctor any supplies he/she needed that was not right there with the scrub tech. All of it. At the new place, there is always another nurse in the room to take care of the baby! Wonderful! I thought I was dreaming when they told me that!!
Let me just summarize... I really like it a lot. :)
In other news, I'm really sad that we only got a light dusting of snow. :( I was looking forward to a lot more. Oh, well. The chunky flakes we just had sure were pretty!
Happy Monday, friends!!
It has been wonderful to be back in the world of L&D. Momma's birthing babies... ya'll, I'm just saying... it's such an awesome thing to able to help people with. I didn't realize how much I missed it!
Right now, I'm working 1-2 days a week (it's called ECB) and loving it. The people that I work with are amazing. I think I've said it before, but this place is like a utopia compared to my former unit. Seriously.
When people ask if I like the difference... Because where I am now, it is much less intense, not high risk, they do probably a third or fourth of the deliveries that the main campus does (maybe even less than that). It's a lot slower paced, a lot more relaxed environment, etc. It's a verrrrry welcomed change. Here's what I tell people: when L&D was my life (before being a mom) it was awesome, I lived it, breathed it... I worked tons of overtime. The adrenaline rush in all the crazy, wild, hectic emergencies was so awesome. And I am so thankful for my time there! I learned an incredible amount of skills by being in a high risk facility like that! But now that it's not my life... now that I've grown up, in a sense, my new place of employment is a spot on fit for me. I get to go to work, labor someone, help them with their relatively uncomplicated pregnancy and then go home to my family without worrying. I'm also not insanely worn out from running my butt off all day, either. Man, they work HARD at the main hospital. No joke. Maybe even overwork. No, I know... sometimes it's inevitable. But my favorite part-- the management is the complete opposite from what I am used to. They are wonderful! Everyone is so down to earth and helpful.
Oh, and one more thing! The place is much smaller, so the walk to and from the car doesn't take 5 minutes both ways!! Hey, doesn't sound like much, but trust me... that 5+ minute walk, depending on where you parked because there's always construction, was a pain in my butt. And it's closer to my house! Woohoo! Wait, there's another! At my old job, we did everything in the room during delivery by ourselves. We took care of the mom, the baby, got the doctor any supplies he/she needed that was not right there with the scrub tech. All of it. At the new place, there is always another nurse in the room to take care of the baby! Wonderful! I thought I was dreaming when they told me that!!
Let me just summarize... I really like it a lot. :)
In other news, I'm really sad that we only got a light dusting of snow. :( I was looking forward to a lot more. Oh, well. The chunky flakes we just had sure were pretty!
Happy Monday, friends!!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Little britches
Ok, I've talked about and wanted to cloth diaper the little man for a while now. I finally did it, and I love it! We are not hard core about it. Like, I don't send him to Sunday School with a cloth diaper on. The poor workers would hate me! :) And since he has lived his life thus far in "sposies", as disposables are called, I have no issues with him wearing those when we are out and about. But while we are at home, it is cloth for us! Derick and my mom, however... hate the cloth and refuse to use them when they are with Jake. Which is ok, since they are the reason we don't have to send our child to daycare!
It's really not that bad! And for those of you wondering, there are these awesome little flushable liners that you can buy to put in the diaper for those little poopers. These make the clean up process a breeze! I did not realize, however, that there was such an art to washing and caring for these crazy little britches. Wow. But, I have a regimen now, so it's not a big deal once I got that all figured out.
I'll tell ya... that little booty is way too cute in CD's!!
It's really not that bad! And for those of you wondering, there are these awesome little flushable liners that you can buy to put in the diaper for those little poopers. These make the clean up process a breeze! I did not realize, however, that there was such an art to washing and caring for these crazy little britches. Wow. But, I have a regimen now, so it's not a big deal once I got that all figured out.
I'll tell ya... that little booty is way too cute in CD's!!
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| Don't mind the broom... he carried it all around the house before I caught him! |
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| Look at that little monkey butt!! |
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| This was taken this afternoon just after it started snowing. This is not Jake's first snow, in fact, it's his third. First was while we were still in the hospital after he was born, and second was sometime in March, so he was too little to play with snow until now. This was his first time to get out and play in it!! He loved it. He thought it was weird at first, but then he came around to it. :) We are hoping for a little more snow throughout the night tonight, so we can play a little more tomorrow. |
Thursday, January 6, 2011
11 months
Jake is 11 months old (yesterday)!
At 11 months...
You weigh 23 pounds, 10 ounces
You wear size 18 month clothes
You wear size 4 shoe
You wear size 4 disposable diapers and size 5 at night, and you still leak through them!
You wear cloth diapers when you are home with mommy. Daddy doesn't like them.
You love to talk to your Nena and Pop on facetime in the evening
You still love to eat anything and everything
You drink milk from a sippy (well, you still get a bedtime bottle... I'm not sure I can give that one up)
You drink cow's milk, we got rid of formula this month
You LOVE playing "I'm gonna get you"
You run all over the place
You are very mischevious
You have just recently taken up snuggling in the recliner with me, and I love it!
You just had your first Christmas and it was so fun watching you interact with everyone
You are absolutely adorable when you find a phone... you hold it up to your ear and say "hi, hi, hi"
You still love to eat anything and everything
You drink milk from a sippy (well, you still get a bedtime bottle... I'm not sure I can give that one up)
You drink cow's milk, we got rid of formula this month
You LOVE playing "I'm gonna get you"
You run all over the place
You are very mischevious
You have just recently taken up snuggling in the recliner with me, and I love it!
You just had your first Christmas and it was so fun watching you interact with everyone
You are absolutely adorable when you find a phone... you hold it up to your ear and say "hi, hi, hi"
You have become a MAJOR momma's boy
You like to play rough
You like to throw things
You are starting to work on your molars, which has not been fun
You have begun to recognize words
You point to things you want
You laugh when other people are laughing
You still like to get everyone's attention when we go to the grocery store
You LOVE Yo Gabba Gabba... I mean LOVE it. You will stop what you are doing when you hear it
You really like music... All kinds
You still like to dance to music
Your personality is shining through more and more everyday, I love watching the person that you're becoming develop daily. I can't believe, in one month, you'll be a year old!!
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