Grace Is All I Need

Up until this past year (you know, the one where I had 3 miscarriages in one calendar year) yeah, up until then... I could have literally counted on one hand, the number of times in my life I can remember having had ANY lab work drawn. Seriously. In the past year, I have sat in this chair at LEAST 20 times. The usual draws were like one, maybe two labs at time. Not a big deal at all. And really, today was no big deal (mainly because of the totally rockin' phlebotomist). Well, have yourself three miscarriages in a row and you get what you see below. One of the girls in the office was helping the sweet (and phenomenal) phlebotomist get all my vials and paperwork that went with them ready. I heard her say, "Yeah, all 16 or 17 of them".  I laughed, I thought she was kidding. The phlebotomist didn't wanna tell me how many tubes of blood she was drawing when I asked her, but she said since I was nurse she'd tell me, there were 16 tubes to collect. My response? "At least it's not 20!!" :) "Spoken like a true medical professional", she said. Well, in the medical world you know it can always be worse.

 This week/month/season of life I am working on thanking God, truly thanking Him, for my losses. Paul tells us to rejoice in our weaknesses. I have come across 2 Corinthians 12 so many times the past week (it was even randomly text to me, thank you, Stephanie) it says...

"Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. ⁹ Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. ¹⁰ That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

God will use this time in my life for a reason. Of that, I am certain. Still a little (or a lot) foggy and confusing. But deep down, I know.

I am praying that an answers lies within one of those tubes!! Will you pray with me?

I AM the One Percent

Doesn't that sound so cliche? Recently, I've seen so many dumb pickets that say something similar to this. But today, when I say it, I am fully serious.

I am... 1%.

Trust me, I wish I was the 99%.

1 in 100 women will experience recurrent miscarriages (I've also seen this dubbed "habitual aborter", what the HECK! isn't that a rockin' way to define such a miserable diagnosis?!) This is defined as 2-3 miscarriages in a row. There is sometimes a bit of a grey area with the 2. A lot of doctors want to see 3 in a row before they do testing. My case was a bit confusing, so we didn't do testing after the second miscarriage because they seemed to be two separate fluke events with completely different circumstances. Well, hindsight...

On New Year's Day, we were out of town celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary, we woke up to find we were expecting. Yes, again. I just knew this couldn't happen three times in a row. Well, it doesn't matter what I think. Que sera, sera. I thought I knew it couldn't happen twice in a row, and it did.

As of today, it's official. Three in a row. In every study, case, whatever... 3 is the bottom line. And I am there. In only 50% of that 1% will an underlying cause even be found. And to answer your question, yes, we will be doing testing. My case is kind of confusing, though, because we have Jake. He was my first pregnancy. It was completely perfect. Aside from having to take medicine to GET pregnant, the pregnancy could not have been a more perfect one. So why then? Why would you have one perfectly normal, healthy pregnancy and child, then not be able to complete 3 pregnancies, back-to-back??

So let it go on record. THREE miscarriages in ONE calendar year.

That's right.

I just so desperately want Jake to have a sibling.
I want a big family.

But for now I will love on the little family God gave me and let them love me back. And I will praise God for the perfectly beautiful baby boy that He has given us. Oh, and I'll also grab a case of Dr. Pepper, of which I have not had a drop of since I found out I was expecting. Less than two weeks, sure... but DP is my main go-to!!

Please say a prayer for me tonight. I'd really appreciate it. :)