The best day of my entire life.

This is rather lengthy, my apologies ahead of time.

Being an L&D nurse, you know too much about having a baby. You know too much about pregnancy, too much about laboring… It’s just better to not know, I’m almost positive. I drove myself nuts for 9 months thinking of things that could happen. I’m a pessimist, remember? The smallest things would happen and I’d jump to crazy conclusions. I mean, come on, I saw WAY too much high-risk stuff to not think crazy thoughts!! It was really hard to put it out of my mind. Seeing all I saw, I can tell you this: every woman that makes it to 37 weeks without any complications for mom or baby, or BOTH… is nothing short of a miracle. Do you even know what the odds are of getting pregnant in the first place? Then there are the odds of not miscarrying in the first trimester. It is said that 25% of pregnancies are miscarried by the sixth week. I mean, really, the whole thing is a complete miracle.

Working where I worked, I didn’t just think about my own labor experience for the 9 months prior to it. No, I thought about my own labor and what I would and wouldn’t do if it were me, for the 3 years that I’d been a nurse. However, even though I had plans for the big day, I did NOT make a birth plan. We L&D nurses believe in several curses you can put on yourself and a written birth plan is one of them. I won’t go into detail, but I sure as HECK wasn’t about to walk through those doors with a written birth plan if I wanted to have a smooth delivery.

Another wonderful blessing in working where I did, was that I got to hand pick my labor nurse. I chose my close friend and confidant, Kinsey. We had worked together on the weekends and been through some crazy, crazy stuff in the previous 2 years. She is an amazing nurse. I’d personally witnessed her in pretty much every scenario possible in the field of L&D. My decision was a no-brainer; she was the nurse for us. She knew exactly what to do in every situation, and she knew me… inside and out, and upside-down…  She knew exactly what I wanted, what I wanted done, she even knew how to know what I wanted without saying it. I consider myself so very blessed to be able to have had that for our labor and delivery exprience. Not everyone gets to have their close friend take care of them and their soon-to-be-born tiny baby. So, even though my birth plan was not actually written, my nurse knew exactly what I wanted and I didn’t have the written birth plan curse hanging over my head. :)

Again, knowing way too much stuff, I knew that I did not want to go OVER my due date. Again, I won’t include details because to each his own. I knew too much and it just starts getting a little too risky for my liking when you go post-dates. Also, Derick’s school schedule was INSANE. He was taking a total of 19 hours and it was his final semester. Our doctor, thankfully, let us schedule our induction for a Saturday when Derick was not in school, and Kinsey could easily be there. We scheduled my induction for 0600 on February 6^th. I was 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Funny story, I knew what time and all that I wanted my induction, so I penciled it in while I was at work. The next day, I happened to answer the phone when the nurse called to schedule my induction. So, I scheduled my own induction with her. (For those out there wondering, no I did not take the orders for my own induction!! I passed that on to someone else.)

February 6^th, 2010- I arrived at the hospital fashionably late, 0700. I had already filled out all my paperwork and signed all my stuff, so I skipped the waiting room and headed right to my labor room. Room 18. Kinsey picked it out. It’s bigger and it was close to everything we/she might need. When we arrived in the room there were gifts everywhere! My sweet, sweet weekend co-workers had brought Jake birthday presents!! That was way, way sweet. I’ll never, ever forget it and how special it was to me. I went out to the desk to thank everyone before I went to put my lovely gown on. The ladies at the desk all made their last guesses as to what this little guy would weigh. Most guesses were in the mid to low seven pound range. There was one guess that was over 8 pounds. Rochelle guessed 8 pounds 2 ounces. We all looked at her like she was nuts. Anyway, back to room 18. I knew this drill all too well. But, I must say, it is much different being the patient. Much, much different. Gown on, jelly and belts on the belly, IV in. The IV was probably the most dramatic part of my day. It was my first IV!! That’s right. I started a handful of IV’s on an almost daily basis, yet had managed to never suffer through one. Well, when that was over, I decided I wanted to try an amniotomy only. This is when the doctor artificially ruptures membranes or, breaks water, to see if your body will go into labor on its own. My body did not, so we got pitocin started too. Oh, man. At first it was just light cramping. I knew to expect light cramps like menstrual cramps that gradually got stronger. I already knew I would be participating in the amazing and wonderful epidural. However, knowing what I knew, I wanted to really appreciate that epidural. You see, if you get your epidural too early, you can experience some pretty painful and unwanted pressure sensations at the end of labor. I wanted to avoid this, thanks. So, I waited. I kept waiting. I knew what that needle that was gonna go in my back looked like. I’d seen them… a LOT. People, they are HUGE. If you’ve never seen one; well, let me just tell you… you don’t wanna see it. It. Is. Huge. Knowing that, I wanted to be desperate before I got it. One thing was certain; I WOULD be getting it. Everyone kept trying to encourage me to get it. I just didn’t feel like I was hurting “enough” to get it just yet. Don’t get me wrong, I was hurting! But I wanted to be unable to speak during a contraction before I gave in. I bounced on the birthing ball. I made trips around the room. I rocked in the rocking chair. Oh, by the way, having ruptured membranes and walking around is SICKENING. I mean it. It feels repulsive!!!!! Every time you have a contraction it gushes out. Ick. Anyway, around noon, I started to get really uncomfortable. I’d cry, but I didn’t want people seeing me cry so I covered my face with a washrag. I had my iPod going with the “hospital playlist” playing. I made everyone in the room be silent during contractions. Shortly after this, I asked everyone to leave to room, excluding Derick, of course. I was in a LOT of pain. Kinsey checked me, and I was dilated to 4cms. I couldn’t stand it any longer and she knew it. Even though I wouldn’t out and out ask for that epidural, she knew it and she began preparing me for one anyway. It’s a good thing, because when I did finally accept, I’m not sure I could have waited the 30 minutes to prepare for one. See how awesome it was to have someone taking care of me that knew me so well?!

Now, as a hospital employee, we get certain privileges and I’d arranged for my favorite anesthesiologist to come and start my epidural. She was not on call that weekend, but agreed to come up to “special” me. They said she’d been calling all morning seeing when she might be needed. Just about the time she decided it was ok for her husband to leave to get some pizza, Kinsey called. She had her daughter with her and I was just short of dying from pain. She had to bring her poor, precious little girl with her. She didn’t want to sit out at the nurse’s station, so she came in the room with her mommy. That sweet little girl kept me from screaming my head off. I knew that I would certainly freak her out if I screamed. So, instead, I proceeded to pinch a plug out of my sweet, equally freaked out, husband’s shoulder. Just as I had always told my patients, you don’t feel that epidural when you’re really hurting.  Even if I did feel it a little, it was NOTHING compared to what was going on in my uterus. Nothing.

After I got my epidural, I wondered why I waited so long. I was a new woman. It was wonderful. Thank you, Lord, for the amazing gift called epidural. I labored, and I labored. I changed sooooo, slowly. I was stuck at 6 cm’s from shortly after my epidural until about 5pm. I finally started making change, still extremely slowly. By 6pm, another nurse, Kelli came in to help Kinsey (she was the nurse that taught me how to be an L&D nurse, my preceptor) whom I am extremely grateful to for helping us. By this point, I was a nervous wreck. Complete disaster is more like it. I couldn’t keep my eyes off the monitor. The heart tones didn’t look amazing, which is not a good thing for an L&D nurse to be watching when it’s herself. They were not bad, they just were not amazing. I only wanted amazing. :) Needless to say, my freaking out was not helping anyone involved. Again, I made all family leave the room. I know I was freaking Kinsey out. And Derick, poor Derick. Somewhere around 6pm, I asked Dee Ann, a scrub tech and close friend who was also “specialing” me, to come in the room. I was crying and couldn’t catch my breath to tell her what I wanted. I didn’t have to say a word to her. She knew exactly what I needed. She came up to me, put her arms around me and began calling on the name of Lord. When she finished praying I had an unexplainable peace come over me. Around that time, Kelli and Kinsey began changing my position every 20 minutes on the nose. Man, they had me in some positions I’d never even seen! It was awesome. Next thing I knew it was 8pm, I was complete, and we were waiting on the doctor. We waited a little while. I’m glad we had that time of waiting, though. Some of my favorite pictures were taken during that time. We started pushing around 8:45 pm.

Ok, I’ve coached hundreds of women through labor. Epidurals, no epidurals… I have coached them all. Pushing. Is. HARD!!!!!! Oh, man. It’s really hard. I am pretty sure I had a heads up because I knew what to do, but I only pushed thirty minutes. That’s not bad for a first time mom who had a good-sized kiddo on board. We pushed and joked. Happy times were had. In the room I had the staff- Kinsey, my sweet friend; Dee Ann, also a sweet friend; Dr. “Optimistic”. Then I also had Derick (of course) on one side, my mom on the other, Chelsea, my little sister, at the head of the bed filming (yes, filming… it’s probably the most awesome video I have) and Tana, my best friend, taking the amazing pictures you’re about to see, and may have already seen on fb. :) It was an awesome 30 minutes.

Then I became a mom.

You know, people tell you, “it is amazing” “there is nothing like it” “words cannot describe” “it’s the most amazing feeling in the world”. Ok, people. It is beyond any explanation that anyone can explain. It’s kinda like how we can’t comprehend how beautiful heaven is. Well, until you see that face for the first time, you absolutely CANNOT comprehend the overwhelming love and power of that first moment. I pictured it being happy. It was not JUST happy; happy is pretty mellow in comparison to how I felt. It is wild. There are no words. It is not just amazing. It is blow-your-mind-beyond-your-wildest-imagination amazing. And let me tell you, everyone in that room felt the amazing-ness. There was not a dry eye in the room. Every one of us cried. Some more than others, uh, like me. I do not, I repeat DO NOT, cry in front of people. Well, that all went out the window. I didn’t just cry… I boo-hooed. Sobbed and sobbed. It was that incredible. If you are about to have a baby for the first time and are reading this, well, prepare to have your mind blown at the amount of love you will feel for that precious baby when it gets here. You think you couldn’t love it anymore than you do now while it’s inside of you? Oh, you just wait. Trust me. :) It’s gonna be amazing.

Last pregnant picture. Well, in normal clothes, anyhow.

One of just a handful of pictures captured after epidural and before I was complete.

The only picture I have with Kelli in it, she helped make it the best day ever.

While we were waiting on the doctor to arrive.

Again, waiting. It was a good time.

Pushing is HARD! Kinsey is standing by my mom, who is next to Chelsea-holding the camera.

Our first glimpse of the baby boy. Notice the expressions on our faces.

The most amazing moment in my entire life caught on camera.

My dad, holding Jake, as Dee Ann and I ooh and aah over him.

Jake Ryan Pickle
born February 6th, 2010 at 9:14pm
8lbs 2oz, 21.5 inches long

Forgot to mention that I also had my friend, Keirsten, "special" Jake in the nursery!! Here she is giving him his first bath in our labor room.

Me, Kinsey, and Jake

Holding daddy's finger

The most amazing love.