TX, No TX. BA, No BA.

This is kinda long.

Ok, for those of you that may have caught the occasional random and vague facebook status update referencing our ridiculous living/moving situations. This is to clarify all those questions.

For starters, I have always known that when I “grew up” all I wanted to be was a mom. Not that being a mom means you can’t work. I didn’t mean that. But I have always dreamed of being a stay at home mom. I’m not really sure why, it has just always been something I felt like I was going to do. I have always, always loved children, maybe that’s it. Anyway. Knowing this, the decision to quit my job was not hard. That, and it was, for lack of a better way to describe it, a horrible working environment. So, it was not difficult AT ALL when Derick said he’d gotten a job in Texas, for me to quit. I was ready the second I birthed my kid. (in all actuality, I was ready from the time I was 36 weeks pregnant due to circumstances that I will not be discussing on a public venue such as this… but know, that I was VERY READY to get out of where I was) That being said, when I was able to quit, I did not work one day more than I had to. Actually, we needed insurance for the month of June, so I made my last day June 1st, to ensure that we were covered through the rest of that month. Don’t get me wrong, I meant every word of loving the girls I worked with and loving the job that I did. It truly was my passion! There are other things involved in that job that were very corrupt. Very. Enough of that.

So, I quit my job on June 1st. Derick started his new job on June 7th. We had the house on the market the weekend after we found out that Derick had the job. So, from about mid-beginning May, it was on the market. We could not afford to rent in College Station because it’s a college town and the apartment market is practically monopolized. So, Jake and I had to stay home in Broken Arrow, while Derick drove 7 hours to College Station, TX to begin work. Derick was put up in a hotel while he worked there. He worked for Halliburton as an engineer… frac-ing. Don’t ask, that’s about all I know. Things were going great. He was really liking the job. We just needed to get the whole family unit to TX. We needed the house to sell.

We had TONS of lookers, but no buyers. If you have never heard of burying the statue of St. Joseph, let me explain.

Most commonly, a statue of St. Joseph is placed inside a protective cloth and buried upside-down in the front yard. People differ as to whether the statue should be upside-down or right side-up, and whether the yard should be the front yard or back yard, but worrying about such things is unecessary. Then a prayer to St. Joseph is said. Anyway, when the house is sold, God and St. Joseph are thanked, the statue is dug up and given a place of honor in your new home, and you, of course, tell others about the power of St. Joseph's intercession.

Ok, so obviously I, born and raised in deep Southern Baptist roots, have prayed to no one other than God the Father and his Son, however… I don’t believe Catholics are sacrileges or anything… so I decided we’d try it! Why not?

I had a friend from my former place of employment that had spoken of a lucky St. Joseph. She agreed to let me borrow him. Derick was home for a couple days and we all were driving to Fiona’s house to get her statue of St. Joseph, when we received a phone call from a realtor that was showing our house. She had a buyer and they were going to work up an offer! We didn’t even have to get the statue, it had already worked out.

We got the offer, and after some negotiation, we had a deal. The only problem was that it was VA loan. I don’t know what kind of experience you have with VA loans, but they are not fun. We had to wait 30 days to close. Which was fine. We had waited 2 months (which I understand is really nothing in the market we were in, but when your husband is living 7 hours away from his wife and baby… it’s way too long) what’s another month? That gives me time to get everything packed up, since I’d be doing it all by myself.

Starting in August, Derick started the mandatory training program through Halliburton, which happens to be in Duncan, OK. They put him up in a rather nice duplex with a couple other fellas. This allowed us to be able to come and stay there too. He was there for 2 weeks at a time. Funny story, the closet in the master bedroom that Derick was staying in, was actually a safe room. I mean, Duncan, OK… I guess it’s pretty normal for a safe room out there. It ended up being Jake’s room. :) It worked out pretty well. But it’ll be funny to tell him that he slept in a closet for part of his first year!

 Jake and I were in BA around the beginning of August getting things prepared for our proposed closing date of August 13th. I received a phone call on August 10th with the news that we would not be able to close in 3 days. So, I had to cancel all plans of moving. Cancel the uhaul, cancel the help we’d acquired to get things on the uhaul, and mostly, cancel the plans to move to TX. 

I almost forgot to mention that we had a contingency on a house in College Station. It was contingent on the fact that we sold our house. The contingency ran up at the end of August.

The details surrounding the BA house were that the buyer’s loan was not working out. They needed proof of employment from him and he could not follow through with that because he was IN Iraq when all this was going on. We were thrown options like, he doesn’t wanna deal with this, he just wants to lease-back your house until December when he can have enough pay-stubs for proof of employment. He wasn’t returning to work until the beginning of October, or something like that. So, I’m freaking out, thinking we aren’t going to close until December. My entire house is packed away in boxes in my garage. I sold all our living room furniture. So, even if the deal fell through, I still have a huge mess to deal with!! Alone!!!!

Derick continued going back and forth from College Station to Duncan, every 2 weeks. We stayed in Duncan as much as we could. When we were not staying in Duncan, I took up residence at my parent’s in Fort Smith. I was lonely… very, very lonely in BA.

Something came through, about mid-late August and the buyer was going to be able to close in September. We had a proposed closing date of September 10th. Praise the LORD!!!! (I am sparing many, many stressful and crazy details, but that’s the long and short of it… the buyer came through, but we learned our lesson… we will never accept an offer from that has to do with VA, EVER, not good, not good experience, horrible!!)

Somewhere around the last week in August, Derick was in Duncan. Now, at this “training” in Duncan… They don’t tell you, when they hire you, that you will be taking tests in Duncan, much like school. If they did not make 75% or greater on these tests, they failed. If they failed 3 times… they were FIRED. That’s right. We were about to uproot our lives and buy a HOUSE on that risk. Thanks for that information, Halliburton. So, during this last week in August, you can imagine the stress Derick was going through. His family is hundreds of miles away. His wife quit her career to stay home, since his was stable… so we thought. Now he has these stipulations weighing VERY heavily on his shoulders. Derick would spend HOURS studying for these tests. It was much like the days of college where we didn’t see or talk to him much because he was studying so hard. It was so sad because he worked so hard to get graduated and now was being treated like a child and being tested all over again. Derick failed a test. The next weekend he came home. Jake and I went outside to greet him. Derick reached for Jake, who usually smiled from ear to ear and was giddy with excitement when Daddy got home. This time, however, Jake just looked at his Daddy like he didn’t know him.

That sealed the deal for Derick. He was done with Halliburton from that moment on. He already knew he would be in the field for hours on end, keeping him away from us at wild and crazy hours. That, and things were just obviously not in the cards for us in TX.

Derick took another test the following week and failed again. I was completely and utterly devastated. I had no idea what we were going to do. I didn’t have a job. We were about to not have a house. Our only source of income was in big time jeopardy. After much, much freaking out on my part, Derick and I started to put our minds together about jobs for him. Because, if (not if, when) he failed another test… he was fired. He still had 13 more tests to take. Things were not looking good.

For some reason I happened to remember a guy that gave Derick his card waaaaay back when Derick was still working at the bike shop in Tulsa. This guy had said that he wouldn’t be hiring in May, when Derick needed a job, but to call him in August if he was still looking for a job. I could not remember the guy’s name, or the name of the company, but I remember D telling me about it and showing me the card. I remember throwing away that card, too, just weeks before as I was sorting through things. While we were talking, I blurted out “NORIA!” “That’s it!” Derick said. From there, I got on google, found the company, found the name of guy Derick spoke with. The company website had a phone number. Derick called him. He was on vacation and was having his office calls forwarded to his phone. He answered, spoke with Derick, and set up an interview the following weekend. CRAZY!! This job did finally give D an offer, but it was after he was offered the position at another company that he took. I believe this came through when it did, if for nothing other than boosting our spirits.

During this time, we decided that we would definitely not be making a good decision by getting involved in a mortgage in TX if we knew we weren’t for sure going to be there. So, we canceled the contingency, thus forfeiting our earnest money. Bummer, but it’s better than being stuck in a mortgage!!

Around this time, Derick got a phone call from a former colleague telling him that he was pretty sure that the company that Derick did his senior design project for would be hiring a design engineer soon. (Design engineering is actually what D really wanted to end up doing.) Derick followed that lead and got another interview. This company actually put into production the part that Derick helped design for his senior design project. There was already a good working relationship and people within the company already knew good things about Derick, his knowledge base and his work ethic. The position, however, had to be approved. He had an interview with the head of engineering, who had to discuss with the CEO, then go to HR, HR had to present the numbers, that had to go back to the CEO before a final approval. I am NOT good at waiting!!!!! (keep in mind, Derick is still working for Halliburton… in fact, he’s in the field at this point, IN Texas) After much, much waiting, Derick got an offer!!! That very same day, Derick quit working for Halliburton and headed home to Fort Smith. This is where Jake and I had been staying since selling the house in BA (which was final on September 10th) and D being away.

Derick took 2 much needed weeks off between jobs to spend time with Jake. He never, ever wanted that boy to not recognize him again. So, he took a job where he will be working 8-5, M-F, with holidays off and little to no traveling. WHAT a blessing!!!!!

We went that next week to look at houses. We looked at 7 the first time we looked. The last house we looked at was not even on our list, our realtor just wanted us to see the layout. We LOVED it. We went back a few days later and looked 5 others and that one again. We still LOVED it. We made an offer. That house sat on the market for 4 months and the day we put our offer in, 2 others came in. I long decided not to stress any more, since I had been made very, very well aware by God that I was NOT in control of ANYTHING. So, we sat and waited… our offer was accepted. We were able to work things out to where we could close on November 5th (today). Everything was working out perfectly. A little too perfectly, obviously. If I have learned one thing in the last year… you don’t EVER want things to be too perfect. Because just as things start looking great… bad things are looming very, very near!! This is always the case for me, anyhow.  Derick started his job, and is commuting to and from FS to Muskogee… every. Single. Day. UGH…

Well, we had everything ready to go. I was packing up all our belongings here at my parent’s house. Derick had gotten a uhaul ready, my dad took off work, my mom took off work. At around noon, yesterday, I got a call from Derick telling me that there was a glitch (there’s the whopper I was waiting to be hit upside the head with). We may not be able to close tomorrow, but they’re still looking into it.

Ok, here’s the deal. FEMA came through in 2008 and made a PREMILINARY map on flood zones. There was an error in their zoning that put our house on the very edge of a floodplain. There are 13 other houses in this same neighborhood that are affected by this. FEMA is supposed to be correcting this issue, but they have yet to. Big shocker, right? The city of BA civil engineers have ruled that it is, indeed, NOT in a flood zone. Wagoner County has also made the exact same ruling. FEMA is dragging their feet and is supposed to have it corrected by early 2011. Well, the company that is processing our loan goes by FEMA. Perfect. They are requiring flood insurance. Our quote yesterday was OUTRAGEOUS!!! The sellers were aware of this discrepancy and withheld it from not only us-the buyers, but also their realtor! Anyway, we are very upset. We are working on some kinks. But we are ultimately trusting God. Is there any other option?

Nope.

Jake climbing over the barricade we've made to keep him in the living room. 

Wordless Wednesday

I decided to jump on the "Wordless Wednesday" bandwagon.

What is WW? - Blogs (web journals) are primarily about "words" bloggers love to dress their journal entries with imagery. WW is a simple blog post featuring a photo, which conveys a message that speaks for itself without using words. However, there are no specific rules about WW posts so a few (and sometimes, many) words may accompany a photo or image that is the focus of a WW blog entry.

Look at those thighs!!!! You better believe I love squishing those things!

A day in the life.

A day in the life of...

Jake Ryan

0645-0730 (0800, if I'm lucky) But let's go by the 0700 schedule-- wake up babbling. Let him talk to himself for 10-15 minutes while I muster up the ability to crawl out of bed, for I am NOT, nor have I even been... a morning person.

0715-- Get into J's room, that usually wreaks of poo. I do not know what it is about sleepy time, but he always... I mean always poos when he sleeps. He does it during one of his naps, too, usually. Weird. Anyway, continuing on. Morning greeting goes like this, "Hiiiiii, Jakey!" "iiiiii!!" he will say. He definitely does NOT get morning cheer from me, but I can't help but cheer right up when I get in there to that happy kid. He's usually standing up, facing the door, peeking over the rail, or pressing his face up against the mesh (he sleeps in a pack-n-play while we stay at my parents). When I get in there, he usually starts shaking himself back and forth while holding onto the side of the crib. We usually chat back and forth for a little bit, then we get up, change the stinky diap, and head into the kitchen. 

0730-- He sits in his little eat-seat and munches on cheerios or animal crackers while I "fix" or gather our breakfasts. He will eat 2 things from the following list: banana, yogurt, oatmeal, baby food fruit, cereal bar. After breakfast, which he usually inhales, I offer him a bott (our term for bottle). Sometimes he takes it right then, sometimes he likes to wait until closer to nap time to have his bott. When he was smaller and we were trying to figure out our schedule, I was much more rigid. We followed the baby wise schedule (amazing and highly recommended, btw) we would wake up, eat, play, sleep, repeat. Now that he's bigger and much more flexible I have let him kind of decide what he wants... within reason.


0800-0900-- play time in the living room. At first I let him play on his own. He is very good to play on his own. He roams around the room from one thing to the next preoccupying himself. But the closer we get to the 2 hour mark (2 hours after he wakes up it is usually time for a nap) the less he is able to play alone. I think it's necessary for him to explore and play on his own for a little bit anyway. After about 30 minutes of exploring, he comes over to me and starts wallering all over me, so we play around in the floor until he all he wants to do waller and pull my hair. Then he goes into his jumperoo, which I've figured out this is the time when he gets sensory-overloaded due to being tired and it is like a place for him to kind of cool off and un-wind until 0900. He doesn't do a lot of jumping in it. Well, not as much as he used to. He just kinda babbles and plays with the toys on it. I usually keep the TV off during these 2 hours. Not only because I read that background noise from the TV is starting to be blamed for ADHD, but because Jake actually plays better when it isn't on. I can't keep other people from having the TV on when they're around, and I'm certainly not going to shield him from it his whole life!!! That would be impossible seeing that I am a TV junkie. But, if I can resist, I do try to keep the TV off.


0900-- naptime. aaahhhh.... I get Jake out of the jumper, offer the bott if he didn't finish it. Then I say, "let's put the dogs outside" Emphasis on the outside so that the dogs get the memo. The dogs run to the back door, we let them out. We wave at them. (they have to go out because they like to bark at the wind and this spurs a huge barking fiasco which usually wakes up Jake) Then J & I go back to the bedroom, change a diap if it's wet; but these days he's not wetting between waking up and naptime. Diapers are starting to get much heavier and less frequent, these days. I pick up his blanket and hand it to him, then I lay him and his blanket down together. He usually babbles for a few minutes. Sometimes cries, (especially during teething) but it lasts no longer 5-10 minutes - which can feel like an eternity when your baby's upset!! But he always at least babbles before he falls asleep at nap. Aahhh, peace and quiet. I usually catch up on a show or two, catch up on facebook or blog, whatever, clean up whatever mess he's made since he's been awake. Try to catch up on household stuff, laundry, etc... And just about the time I sit down to relax...


1130-- Babbling. Go to bedroom. We chat for a couple minutes. He usually has a very wet diaper for me. Change that. Let the dogs in.


1135-- Fix lunch while he sits in his eat-seat and munches on something, Mum Mums, cheerios, animal crackers, saltines... Lunch is pretty random. He likes tuna-fish sandwiches, that's the newest regular addition to his palate. He eats pasta somedays, ravioli (the gerber kind), basically he just eats whatever is relatively soft. After we both have our lunches, it's time to play again!


1205-- back to the living room to entertain himself for a bit. This one doesn't usually last as long. I like to try to use this time to get out of the house. Errands, park, meeting someone for lunch, etc... this is when we like to go. If we don't go somewhere, then we'll go outside and play around. He loves to explore the outside. When he starts to fuss, we come back inside and get a bott. Come back inside and play around and cuddle a little and read a book or two.


2:15-- since we are staying with my parents while we're between houses, this is when Jake's Pop (my dad) gets home. J gets so dang excited when people come home. He says hi to his Pop, gives him a hug. We go let the dogs out, if they aren't already out from our playing outside earlier. Then we go change a diap, grab the blankie, he hugs it and I lay them down together. Babbling or crying. 


2:30-- Quiet. I am usually exhausted by this point. I do a little more straightening. I go to the kitchen to figure out what's for dinner. Lay that all out. Chat with my dad for a little bit. Return phone calls, emails, etc...

4:00-- Babbling. Get up. Chat a little. Change a diap. Most the time it's a pooper. :) Fix a bott, drink it up, play time. During this play time we go outside for a little bit and then he usually follows me around and entertains himself as I fix dinner or do whatever I'm doing.

5:45-- Nena (my mom) gets home. Jake is always the most excited to see his Nena come through the door. He squeals and jumps up and down. He loves that Neen.

6:00-- take a walk with Nena and Quincy.

6:45-- Daddy is home when we get back from the walk. Phew! A break for mommy!!!!

7:00-- Eat dinner. Jake will either have the other half of what he had for lunch or he'll have whatever we're having. Or, like last night, we were having tacos, which he obviously can't have... so I fixed him some rigatoni and cheese and some fruit. Whatever works and he's not picky!! He starts to get very restless in this 7-8 hour. It usually calls for a lot of entertaining on the adult's part. Be it food that entertains, or being thrown around by Daddy or Pop... this hour usually requires entertainment.

8:10-- Bath time. Daddy is in charge of bath. I lay out J's pj's, lotion, diaper rash cream and diaper, and fix his bedtime bott. The bedtime bott we have nicknamed "lento". This is the only bottle of the day that requires a slow nipple. On the nipple it says, "slow, lent, lento" thus the name... lento.

8:30-- Daddy dresses J for bed, brushes teeth. Nena comes in to say good night and give him "chugars". She hands me the babe, the blanket and lento. J snuggles his blank while he has lento. Most nights he drifts off while in my arms. Which, as a mommy I love. But it was something we did NOT allow until he was able to soothe himself back to sleep in the middle of the night. If he's super fidgety and doesn't fall asleep, he has absolutely no problem just lying down and putting himself to sleep. I am positive it is because we have never (with the exception of fever present and not feeling well) rocked to sleep. It makes total sense that they would need a parent in the middle of the night to come rock them if they were helped to sleep by a rocking motion. This was also advice from Baby Wise. It worked for us. For sure. Jake was sttn (sleeping through the night) by 1 month and 9 days. We haven't looked back, either. There is the occasional, like once a month maybe, wake up that calls for a parent to go in there. We started Baby Wise at 4 weeks, and in less than 2 weeks he was sleeping 6+ hours. By 1 month and 20 days, it was 8-9 hours at a time. Holla! Baby Wise rocks!! I totally understand that each baby is different and I could have like the most opposed to sleeping child on the planet born to me with our next child... but for now, I'm gonna say it is an awesome thing. :)

9-10-- Mom and I watch a show or two.

11-- my bedtime.

0700-- do it all over again.

All of the times above are within 30 minutes either way... nothing is ever exact!

Charlie Brown

Halloween was a blast for our little guy! We dressed him as Charlie Brown. I really thought people would recognize him more obviously. But we were driving him around in his stroller as we trick-or-treated the neighborhood. So his little zig-zag on his shirt was kinda covered up. People probably thought, uhhh, what are you doing bringing a baby by that's not even dressed up?! Mom suggested that we should have drawn the squiggly on his forehead like Charlie Brown's but I forgot all about it. :( Oh, well. It's probably really sad that I'm already thinking about what I'm going to dress him for next year. But I already have a costume picked out! :) My mind may change a million times, but oh well!

I picked out Charlie Brown, well for the obvious. The kid's a baldy! He really did make the perfect little cartoon character. But my dad is a big time Peanuts fan. So, that's why we did it. :)

There are places out there that will make a Charlie Brown outfit. Like etsy or whatever. But I really wanted to make it myself! So, I did!! Plus those other ones are pretty darn pricey. And it meant more to me since it was put together by me!

Here's what I did. I set out to find the perfect shade of mustard colored polo shirt. I am a big time bargain shopper; I love a good deal!! I get so excited when I get one. Well, I do a good deal of shopping online, and even more "window shopping" online. I frequent the Children's Place website, because they have fantastic deals at season change. (Of course, not as amazing as the $.99 sale I scored at the outlet in Branson!) Anyway, so I saw this mustard colored shirt, gosh, it must have been back in July! I ordered the 12-18 month size because it was actually the smallest size they had. Jake was only 5 months at the time. I was really going out on a limb! Well, I guessed right, because that's the size shirt he's in now. Perfect! When I ordered it, I figured I'd get use out of it eventually even if he can't wear it at Halloween. In the mean time, I studied up on Mr. Brown's attire. Jake needed brown shoes that tied, mustard socks and longer-ish black shorts to go along with his mustard shirt. So, here's the breakdown...

Charlie Brown costume

*Mustard shirt from Children's Place online - $4 (not that cheap, but it was the only mustard shirt I could find!!)

*Brown shoes that tied - $2 Just Between Friends consignment sale in August. Again, I guessed on the shoe size and guessed right!

*Longer-ish black shorts - $1 clearance at Walmart

*Mustard socks - $1 Old Navy, they were white when I bought them.

*Yellow Rit dye and black fabric marker - $5

*Little snoopy to carry around for effect - free from Pop

*Charlie Brown doll to ride around in stroller as a hint as to what he was lol - free from friend, Ashley

______________________________

Total: $13

Not that bad for a whole Halloween costume!!

It's the great pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

While Derick was carving a pumpkin, we let Jake go outside and play in the "guts". He had fun with it. Tried to eat it a couple times, but definitely loved squishing it between his fingers and toes.

Yes, people... he's finally growing hair.

Big eyes

The first thing people tend to notice when seeing Jake in person, is his eyes. It is not at all uncommon for us to get stopped in the grocery store for comments on "oh, his big brown eyes!" Well, that, and he'll say "HI!!" to anyone that passes him. Sometimes those big brown eyes are extra, extra big. He is a baby of many expressions, but this post is dedicated to ol' big eyes. Therefore, the following pictures are of...

(cue the loud infomercial voice)

BIG EYES!

not really huge here, but very expressive!

He has huge eyes when he first wakes up.

This was the first time he pushed all the way up onto all fours.... I think it might have freaked him out a little!

Today, I am thankful for this ridiculous stick. I am not sure what the obsession is with the drumsticks, but if I need to calm him down... I just grab a drumstick. Weird, right? I'll do whatever it takes!

Just J

Today is simple. 

It's just a Jake post. Which reiterates the fact that I'm one of those moms. :)

Today, I am thankful for the blankie and the bottle. We are cutting 4 top teeth at the moment and that blankie and bottle were such a life saver today!

played outside for a little bit

We take a walk with "Nena" (my mom) every time we can. She walks in the morning, before work, and when she gets home from work. Jake has an umbrella stroller that I tried using for a while. Well, he prefers the heavy 27 pound stroller. He makes that abundantly clear any time we try to use that umbrella one. He loves walks when we use the "big" stroller. In all reality, it's probably because I put cheerios on the tray in front of him in the big stroller. He's all about food.

he crosses his feet when he sits in his eat-seat

Below is a video from last night. Derick was feeding him his dinner (that's why he's an awful mess) and making funny noises. Jake thought it was hilarious.

The best day of my entire life.

This is rather lengthy, my apologies ahead of time.

Being an L&D nurse, you know too much about having a baby. You know too much about pregnancy, too much about laboring… It’s just better to not know, I’m almost positive. I drove myself nuts for 9 months thinking of things that could happen. I’m a pessimist, remember? The smallest things would happen and I’d jump to crazy conclusions. I mean, come on, I saw WAY too much high-risk stuff to not think crazy thoughts!! It was really hard to put it out of my mind. Seeing all I saw, I can tell you this: every woman that makes it to 37 weeks without any complications for mom or baby, or BOTH… is nothing short of a miracle. Do you even know what the odds are of getting pregnant in the first place? Then there are the odds of not miscarrying in the first trimester. It is said that 25% of pregnancies are miscarried by the sixth week. I mean, really, the whole thing is a complete miracle.

Working where I worked, I didn’t just think about my own labor experience for the 9 months prior to it. No, I thought about my own labor and what I would and wouldn’t do if it were me, for the 3 years that I’d been a nurse. However, even though I had plans for the big day, I did NOT make a birth plan. We L&D nurses believe in several curses you can put on yourself and a written birth plan is one of them. I won’t go into detail, but I sure as HECK wasn’t about to walk through those doors with a written birth plan if I wanted to have a smooth delivery.

Another wonderful blessing in working where I did, was that I got to hand pick my labor nurse. I chose my close friend and confidant, Kinsey. We had worked together on the weekends and been through some crazy, crazy stuff in the previous 2 years. She is an amazing nurse. I’d personally witnessed her in pretty much every scenario possible in the field of L&D. My decision was a no-brainer; she was the nurse for us. She knew exactly what to do in every situation, and she knew me… inside and out, and upside-down…  She knew exactly what I wanted, what I wanted done, she even knew how to know what I wanted without saying it. I consider myself so very blessed to be able to have had that for our labor and delivery exprience. Not everyone gets to have their close friend take care of them and their soon-to-be-born tiny baby. So, even though my birth plan was not actually written, my nurse knew exactly what I wanted and I didn’t have the written birth plan curse hanging over my head. :)

Again, knowing way too much stuff, I knew that I did not want to go OVER my due date. Again, I won’t include details because to each his own. I knew too much and it just starts getting a little too risky for my liking when you go post-dates. Also, Derick’s school schedule was INSANE. He was taking a total of 19 hours and it was his final semester. Our doctor, thankfully, let us schedule our induction for a Saturday when Derick was not in school, and Kinsey could easily be there. We scheduled my induction for 0600 on February 6^th. I was 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Funny story, I knew what time and all that I wanted my induction, so I penciled it in while I was at work. The next day, I happened to answer the phone when the nurse called to schedule my induction. So, I scheduled my own induction with her. (For those out there wondering, no I did not take the orders for my own induction!! I passed that on to someone else.)

February 6^th, 2010- I arrived at the hospital fashionably late, 0700. I had already filled out all my paperwork and signed all my stuff, so I skipped the waiting room and headed right to my labor room. Room 18. Kinsey picked it out. It’s bigger and it was close to everything we/she might need. When we arrived in the room there were gifts everywhere! My sweet, sweet weekend co-workers had brought Jake birthday presents!! That was way, way sweet. I’ll never, ever forget it and how special it was to me. I went out to the desk to thank everyone before I went to put my lovely gown on. The ladies at the desk all made their last guesses as to what this little guy would weigh. Most guesses were in the mid to low seven pound range. There was one guess that was over 8 pounds. Rochelle guessed 8 pounds 2 ounces. We all looked at her like she was nuts. Anyway, back to room 18. I knew this drill all too well. But, I must say, it is much different being the patient. Much, much different. Gown on, jelly and belts on the belly, IV in. The IV was probably the most dramatic part of my day. It was my first IV!! That’s right. I started a handful of IV’s on an almost daily basis, yet had managed to never suffer through one. Well, when that was over, I decided I wanted to try an amniotomy only. This is when the doctor artificially ruptures membranes or, breaks water, to see if your body will go into labor on its own. My body did not, so we got pitocin started too. Oh, man. At first it was just light cramping. I knew to expect light cramps like menstrual cramps that gradually got stronger. I already knew I would be participating in the amazing and wonderful epidural. However, knowing what I knew, I wanted to really appreciate that epidural. You see, if you get your epidural too early, you can experience some pretty painful and unwanted pressure sensations at the end of labor. I wanted to avoid this, thanks. So, I waited. I kept waiting. I knew what that needle that was gonna go in my back looked like. I’d seen them… a LOT. People, they are HUGE. If you’ve never seen one; well, let me just tell you… you don’t wanna see it. It. Is. Huge. Knowing that, I wanted to be desperate before I got it. One thing was certain; I WOULD be getting it. Everyone kept trying to encourage me to get it. I just didn’t feel like I was hurting “enough” to get it just yet. Don’t get me wrong, I was hurting! But I wanted to be unable to speak during a contraction before I gave in. I bounced on the birthing ball. I made trips around the room. I rocked in the rocking chair. Oh, by the way, having ruptured membranes and walking around is SICKENING. I mean it. It feels repulsive!!!!! Every time you have a contraction it gushes out. Ick. Anyway, around noon, I started to get really uncomfortable. I’d cry, but I didn’t want people seeing me cry so I covered my face with a washrag. I had my iPod going with the “hospital playlist” playing. I made everyone in the room be silent during contractions. Shortly after this, I asked everyone to leave to room, excluding Derick, of course. I was in a LOT of pain. Kinsey checked me, and I was dilated to 4cms. I couldn’t stand it any longer and she knew it. Even though I wouldn’t out and out ask for that epidural, she knew it and she began preparing me for one anyway. It’s a good thing, because when I did finally accept, I’m not sure I could have waited the 30 minutes to prepare for one. See how awesome it was to have someone taking care of me that knew me so well?!

Now, as a hospital employee, we get certain privileges and I’d arranged for my favorite anesthesiologist to come and start my epidural. She was not on call that weekend, but agreed to come up to “special” me. They said she’d been calling all morning seeing when she might be needed. Just about the time she decided it was ok for her husband to leave to get some pizza, Kinsey called. She had her daughter with her and I was just short of dying from pain. She had to bring her poor, precious little girl with her. She didn’t want to sit out at the nurse’s station, so she came in the room with her mommy. That sweet little girl kept me from screaming my head off. I knew that I would certainly freak her out if I screamed. So, instead, I proceeded to pinch a plug out of my sweet, equally freaked out, husband’s shoulder. Just as I had always told my patients, you don’t feel that epidural when you’re really hurting.  Even if I did feel it a little, it was NOTHING compared to what was going on in my uterus. Nothing.

After I got my epidural, I wondered why I waited so long. I was a new woman. It was wonderful. Thank you, Lord, for the amazing gift called epidural. I labored, and I labored. I changed sooooo, slowly. I was stuck at 6 cm’s from shortly after my epidural until about 5pm. I finally started making change, still extremely slowly. By 6pm, another nurse, Kelli came in to help Kinsey (she was the nurse that taught me how to be an L&D nurse, my preceptor) whom I am extremely grateful to for helping us. By this point, I was a nervous wreck. Complete disaster is more like it. I couldn’t keep my eyes off the monitor. The heart tones didn’t look amazing, which is not a good thing for an L&D nurse to be watching when it’s herself. They were not bad, they just were not amazing. I only wanted amazing. :) Needless to say, my freaking out was not helping anyone involved. Again, I made all family leave the room. I know I was freaking Kinsey out. And Derick, poor Derick. Somewhere around 6pm, I asked Dee Ann, a scrub tech and close friend who was also “specialing” me, to come in the room. I was crying and couldn’t catch my breath to tell her what I wanted. I didn’t have to say a word to her. She knew exactly what I needed. She came up to me, put her arms around me and began calling on the name of Lord. When she finished praying I had an unexplainable peace come over me. Around that time, Kelli and Kinsey began changing my position every 20 minutes on the nose. Man, they had me in some positions I’d never even seen! It was awesome. Next thing I knew it was 8pm, I was complete, and we were waiting on the doctor. We waited a little while. I’m glad we had that time of waiting, though. Some of my favorite pictures were taken during that time. We started pushing around 8:45 pm.

Ok, I’ve coached hundreds of women through labor. Epidurals, no epidurals… I have coached them all. Pushing. Is. HARD!!!!!! Oh, man. It’s really hard. I am pretty sure I had a heads up because I knew what to do, but I only pushed thirty minutes. That’s not bad for a first time mom who had a good-sized kiddo on board. We pushed and joked. Happy times were had. In the room I had the staff- Kinsey, my sweet friend; Dee Ann, also a sweet friend; Dr. “Optimistic”. Then I also had Derick (of course) on one side, my mom on the other, Chelsea, my little sister, at the head of the bed filming (yes, filming… it’s probably the most awesome video I have) and Tana, my best friend, taking the amazing pictures you’re about to see, and may have already seen on fb. :) It was an awesome 30 minutes.

Then I became a mom.

You know, people tell you, “it is amazing” “there is nothing like it” “words cannot describe” “it’s the most amazing feeling in the world”. Ok, people. It is beyond any explanation that anyone can explain. It’s kinda like how we can’t comprehend how beautiful heaven is. Well, until you see that face for the first time, you absolutely CANNOT comprehend the overwhelming love and power of that first moment. I pictured it being happy. It was not JUST happy; happy is pretty mellow in comparison to how I felt. It is wild. There are no words. It is not just amazing. It is blow-your-mind-beyond-your-wildest-imagination amazing. And let me tell you, everyone in that room felt the amazing-ness. There was not a dry eye in the room. Every one of us cried. Some more than others, uh, like me. I do not, I repeat DO NOT, cry in front of people. Well, that all went out the window. I didn’t just cry… I boo-hooed. Sobbed and sobbed. It was that incredible. If you are about to have a baby for the first time and are reading this, well, prepare to have your mind blown at the amount of love you will feel for that precious baby when it gets here. You think you couldn’t love it anymore than you do now while it’s inside of you? Oh, you just wait. Trust me. :) It’s gonna be amazing.

Last pregnant picture. Well, in normal clothes, anyhow.

One of just a handful of pictures captured after epidural and before I was complete.

The only picture I have with Kelli in it, she helped make it the best day ever.

While we were waiting on the doctor to arrive.

Again, waiting. It was a good time.

Pushing is HARD! Kinsey is standing by my mom, who is next to Chelsea-holding the camera.

Our first glimpse of the baby boy. Notice the expressions on our faces.

The most amazing moment in my entire life caught on camera.

My dad, holding Jake, as Dee Ann and I ooh and aah over him.

Jake Ryan Pickle
born February 6th, 2010 at 9:14pm
8lbs 2oz, 21.5 inches long

Forgot to mention that I also had my friend, Keirsten, "special" Jake in the nursery!! Here she is giving him his first bath in our labor room.

Me, Kinsey, and Jake

Holding daddy's finger

The most amazing love.