25 weeks

I figured at this point, I'd feel so much more relaxed than I'm feeling right now!!! June cannot get here fast enough!!

This is my friend, Kristen. She is Kale's mom, Jake's good buddy. When we were pregnant with our boys, we were 12 weeks apart. Same thing this time! So crazy!

This is Shara. We worked together for a few years. She is Paisley's mom, Jake's favorite girl friend. Same thing! Our kiddos are 7 weeks apart and our fetuses are too! Ha!

How far along? 25 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 9 pounds up from pre-pregnancy weight

Maternity clothes? Still have a preference for yoga... (I always will) but when I have to be presentable... yes, I'm in maternity clothes. It's hard to find them that fit right, though... so I still wear my stretchy jeans with a rubber band on the button. :)

Stretch marks? None

Sleep: It's a love/hate. I love it always, and sometimes it hates me. Still a napper when I can, especially after a rough night. I have been stuffy (nasal) for about 3 months, so that makes sleeping a bit of a challenge some nights. I also developed a weird pregnancy rash that itches like mad, that keeps me awake a lot too.

Best moment this week: a good nights' sleep last night lol

Movement: He's still a nut. I seriously thought Jake was active, but this kid is a NUT. Jake likes to put hot wheels cars on my belly and watch Cohen kick them. He gets hiccups a lot. He is starting to have more inactive periods and due to my past history, with all the failed pregnancies... it is starting to weigh on me more and more.

Food cravings: My cravings have pretty much calmed down. I still like green beans and broccoli a lot, and these apples called "envy" apples? They're really good.

Miss anything? Nah, I've wanted this for so long, that anything that might seem unenjoyable or undesirable is very welcomed.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really. Just still stuff at work sometimes, and snot.

Have you started to show yet: Every day it changes. If I'm in scrubs, mostly no. In normal clothes, it just depends on Cohen's position in my belly. He recently moved to the head down position most the time, and when he's like that, my belly is smaller.

Belly Button in or out? Still in. Never popped out with Jake, so not expecting it this time.

Wedding rings on or off? Still on. Never got tight with Jake, I'll be surprised if they do this time. They're pretty darn loose right now. 

Labor signs? Thankfully, no! I have noticed that I have a lot more Braxton Hicks with this pregnancy and I had a night where I was cramping a lot, but since I triage that kinda stuff for a living, I just did what I would tell any other 24 weeker that was cramping lol and it went away.

Happy or Moody most of the time: very moody still.

Milestones: making it to viability at 24 weeks.

Overall, I'm battling a lot of freaking out right now. I had gone through a time where I'd felt more comfortable about the pregnancy, but I'm starting to get more leery about things again. If I can be honest, I am so jealous of my pregnant friends that are able to carelessly decorate their baby's nursery, or buy clothes and accessories. I get anxious just thinking about those things! I feel so jaded and I get so angry sometimes that I am constantly worrying. I have a really good support system. They get to hear me freaking out a lot. 

Twenty

We made it to 20 weeks! I can't even believe it! Honestly, I never thought I'd see this day again. So, I'm so thankful to be here and be experiencing it again.

How far along? 20 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: I tried soooo hard to pack on some pounds this month! And... it worked!! I'm up to a total pregnancy gain of 7 pounds! Not bad!

Maternity clothes? Yeeeees. I still prefer yoga pants though. :) Maybe that's just the mom in me.

Stretch marks? Nope.

Sleep: Sleep is getting better. Not as sleepy. Still love naps. Having a harder time getting comfortable at night.

Best moment this week: making it to the halfway mark!

Have you told family and friends: Announced on Christmas Eve to family. NYE to facebook lol.

Movement: The CHILD is WILD. He's just as, if not more, active than Jake was. We could see him moving around 18-19 weeks. It's like it went from flutters to full body slams overnight! He's crazy. I'm glad.

Food cravings: I seriously have the weirdest, weirdest, weirdest cravings ever with this pregnancy!!! Sauerkraut, steamed broccoli, salad, baby spinach salad, pears.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really. Just stuff at work sometimes, lol

Have you started to show yet: Oh geez. I'm the size I was at like 30 weeks with Jake.

Gender prediction: IT'S A BOY!!! SO excited for Jake to get a brother. I feel like it's the best gift I could ever give him. 

Belly Button in or out? still in.

Wedding rings on or off? still on.

Happy or Moody most of the time: very moody

Milestones: halfway!

15 weeks

How far along? 15 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: I GAINED two pounds! I'm almost up to my pre-pregnancy with Jake weight!

Maternity clothes? Still sometimes. Still lots of yoga pant wearing... and those stretchy jeans are gonna be worn out!! But I love em!

Stretch marks? Nope.

Sleep: Sleep is getting better. I still go to bed very early, but I wake up pretty early and I still nap almost daily.

Best moment this week: I entered my second trimester a while back! That was major! I have felt very occasional flutters in my belly.

Have you told family and friends: Most people in my immediate, every day life, now know.

Movement: rarely

Food cravings: Ok... weirdest craving ever... a glass of pickle juice on ice. Also, pickles (vlasic farmers garden kind), Caesar salad, cheese and crackers.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not a lot this week, I am finally starting to get some relief from the nausea I have been begging for!

Have you started to show yet: I can't believe how big or "fat" my belly is getting!! 

Gender prediction: I think it's a boy. We should know soon what it is. But we're keeping it secret till Christmas Eve!!!

Belly Button in or out? still in.

Wedding rings on or off? still on.

Happy or Moody most of the time: mostly emotional

Weekly Wisdom: don't eat a lot at once, it causes way too much indigestion issues.

Milestones: nausea is on its way OUT.

12 weeks

How far along? 12 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I gained the pounds back that I had lost, so I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

Maternity clothes? Sometimes. But still mostly yoga pants and my stretchy jeans.

Stretch marks? No.

Sleep: Still having a hard time at night with the sleeping and staying asleep. I get sleepy very early, around 8-9 and have to go to bed. I usually end up having to take a nap at some point the next day too. I am SO exhausted this time around! But I chalk it up to having a toddler running amuck during this pregnancy.

Best moment this week: Hearing the heartbeat. That's always the best moments of the week.

Have you told family and friends: We told our families on Thanksgiving (right before 12 weeks), and I had a bleeding scare at 10 weeks, that made me have to let my work know since I had to leave immediately. (I had a very small subchorionic hematoma, which from my understanding can be common and not really cause any harm... it's not caused me a single problem since that day at 10 weeks) 

Movement: not yet!

Food cravings: chocolate malts, smoothies from McD. I want sweet tea so bad I can't even see straight!!!!!

Anything making you queasy or sick: everything.

Have you started to show yet: getting bigger everyday it seems.

Gender prediction: I don't know what I think anymore. I go from one to the next, from week to week.

Belly Button in or out? in. 

Wedding rings on or off? on. 

Happy or Moody most of the time: Very moody, very emotional.

Weekly Wisdom: Nap!

Milestones: I got to stop taking progesterone because the placenta has taken over!!

Finally...

Well, here we are friends. I have prayed for this moment for what seems like an eternity. Although, it has really only been a couple of years. We are... wait for it... it's good, ya'll...

we

....

are

.....

PREGNANT!!!!!!!! 

Woooo!!!

YES! I've wanted to post and shout it from the rooftops sooner than now, but I have been so mixed with my emotions, that I wanted to make sure I was excited when I announced, rather than doubtful and faithless. Which is how I feel like I have spent the last 17 weeks.  I have been keeping track of things and my emotions and feelings, but privately since I wasn't "public" yet with our news. So, I am going to just start by telling the story, then posting a couple other extra posts.

Derick and I had been talking about, and praying about adopting. Of course, it is our calling, as Christian people to reach out to orphans. I still don't feel like God has closed the door completely in that area. However, we were so close to starting the process that I had phone numbers ready to call when we got back from our trip in September. On the third day of my cycle (sorry if that's TMI) I felt like I should just ask Derick what he thought about trying one more time. I prayed about how to ask him, and I really felt God pushing me to ask NOW. I was a bit hesitant, but did anyway. (I'm glad I did) We hadn't tried at all in many, many months. We had been preventing up until that point. To my surprise, Derick was very on board and agreed that we should at least try once more before proceeding with an adoption. This was cycle day 5, when I brought it up to D. I was to start the clomid process ON that day. So, thankfully, Doctor Optimistic's office was quick to call in the script, and I was right on track with my Clomid pills. As we all know well, I am very pessimistic. I went into this basically knowing it wasn't going to work, so I was pretty much just ignoring the fact that we were trying and I was taking meds, etc. Besides... we were leaving for our vacation in a few days after that! So my mind was kept quite busy. I ovulated sometime on the cruise, and apparently it worked. I found out at 3w5d (crazy, I know) the same cycle day I found out with Jake's pregnancy. I immediately phoned Dr. Optimistic to let him know, and we started my pregnancy regimen. At that time, I was taking a pill that has extra folic acid and b vitamins, and a baby aspirin a day. The day I found out, I added Lovenox shots, and progesterone to the mix. I spent a lot of time praying and trying to forget that I was pregnant. I had quants drawn, and MUCH to my surprise, they always went up perfectly. I still tried to forget that I was pregnant. In the past, I had begun the bonding process most women go through as soon as they find out. I had lost so many, in a row, that I just couldn't let my mind go there. I had my first appt at 5w4d. Everything looked perfect. But I was still skeptical. I lost track of my appointments because unfortunately, I had a LOT of freak out moments causing me to have to be seen in the office to calm my insane fears from my past history. The Dr.'s office has been exceptionally wonderful with me. If I could give a shout out on a blog I totally would give one to Tulsa Women's Health Care... they have been incredible from the get go. Not just this pregnancy... all of the past. Anyway, at one point, Dr. Optimistic looked me square in the face, after one of my freak out visits, and told me that I have got to just trust God, calm down and let Him handle it. He also said he didn't want to offend me by saying that because he really cares about this pregnancy and my wellbeing. HA! I already know I'm crazy!! But it was really nice to hear all that, if nothing else. I told him he's going to be soooo thankful when this pregnancy is over! Every visit from about 9 or 10 weeks on, he's asked me if I am feeling better about things yet. Which I always say no to, because I don't think I'll ever feel 100% safe until I've got a baby in my arms. And he always says he feels great about it, I'm past my bad point. Ha! Of course Dr. Optimistic feels great about it! Debbie Downer over here... not so much.

I'm going to include my first questionnaire in this post, I may or may not keep them up!

How far along? 9 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: No weight gain, I lost a couple pounds. :(

Maternity clothes? No. Just lots of yoga pants and stretchy jeans. My regulars are just too snug these days for my poor bruised up belly. I feel like I'd still have a few more weeks left if my belly wasn't all sore.

Stretch marks? No.

Sleep: Hard time with sleep at night. Wake up to potty 1-2 times a night, then stay awake for about an hour afterward. I take lots of naps to make up for it.

Best moment this week: Finally being slammed with the nausea I have been literally begging God for!

Have you told family and friends: Family, yes-I told Derick of course, and Tana of course lol, and my mom immediately, my dad and sister within that first week or so. Friends, only a very few. I realize that to get prayer, you have to tell people. So a select few we told, so they could be praying.

Movement: too early

Food cravings: This changes weekly, almost daily. It ranges from Charlie's Chicken, to KFC mashed potatoes.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Pizza

Have you started to show yet: yes, but I'm work hard at hiding it. I was very shocked to see my belly start to protrude this early. I guess the second one really does show quicker! Plus, I am about 5 pounds under what I started out at with Jake.

Gender prediction: I think it's a girl.

Belly Button in or out? in. It never popped out with Jake.

Wedding rings on or off? on. I never had swollen fingers before either.

Happy or Moody most of the time: very, VERY moody.

Weekly Wisdom: Take advantage of the non-nausea time and get things done then! 

Milestones: NAUSEA has made its presence known!!!!

Mommy Picture Time.

I am going to share a few photo tips today, just because. I don't claim to rock at photography. I just claim to know a thing or two that you might like to know, or might help you improve your shot once in a while. We all know my poor child is in front of a camera almost constantly... if you are my friend on facebook, this is a very obvious thing! Well, he's become quite accustomed to it and has figured out how to charm me juuuust long enough. Then he starts getting silly. Well, some of my favorite pictures are those silly moments! Yay!

First off, I like to photograph my tree in full day light. Yep, that's right! The light on Jake's face is coming from my wall lined, big north facing windows, in my living room, at about 1pm on a fairly sunny day (today, actually). My Christmas tree sits off to the side of the windows by about 8 feet, give or take. I use a Nikon camera (not knocking Canon, I just have only ever used Nikon) anyway, it's a Nikon D700, and I love my 50mm f/1.4 fixed lens, that is what I am using. It's a fixed lens, so it doesn't zoom in and out, and it takes excellent portraits. Anyway! First of all, you need to dial on top of the camera (I can't show you mine, bc it looks nothing like the other Nikons!) to M instead of the auto feature. This would also be a great time to learn metering, which is not nearly as intimidating as it sounds! This first shot is shot at a shutter speed of 125. I was always taught that you don't want to ever take a picture of something that might move, without the use of a tripod, at less than 125. :) Just a fun fact for ya! My aperture is set at 2 (that is how the lights are so blurry and cool looking, they call that bokeh...i have no idea why). And my ISO was set at 1000 today.

I tried my hardest to get him to face the windows, but he is two and he moves a lot! :) Here's a couple of our pictures today. Hope you can take something from my very non-formal, not a lot of info, rundown.

Shutter speed 1/125, f/2, ISO 1000 edited to bring in some more brightness.

Shutter 1/125, f/2, ISO 1000, I put a little bit of a layer on this one and brought in some brightness again.

I love this picture!!!

Shutter 1/80 (I got lucky!!) f/2, ISO 1000. Added a layer for the creamy effect, but the shutter speed is why it is already bright and I didn't have to do that afterward. :)

Cool Cat

When I was pregnant with Jake, before I found out that he was a HE, people would always talk about how boys aren't fun to dress, blah, blah... WELL...*I* say...People who say dressing a boy is boring... see Jake Pickle... and the lady in charge of keeping it cool. Because I am here to tell you, I LOVE dressing my boy!!! eeeeeeyep. Boys ARE fun to dress. Their clothes are a little harder to seek out the good ones, but that makes it even better because I love the thrill of the find! Anyway, without further ado...

my little hipster.

This is just a play outfit, but it's still darn cute, I think. :)